Whir

I feel like I am missing fall.

It's my favorite season, and the leaves here are so pretty right now. I've done a few fall cooking things, but that might be it.

It's been an Indian summer here lately (80-degree weather and sunny) and I'm sort of frustrated about it. ORR I'm frustrated about work, moving, money, and lack of vacation time, and lack of time in general.... and I'm just taking it out on fall. That might be it.

Tim and I had a great weekend visiting sister/brother-in-law/nephew, and I felt honest-to-goodness homesick when we left. I wasn't sure if it was a good time for a trip, with moving and everything, but ended up not wanting to leave.

Once again, I have mostly exciting things happening, but for whatever reason, I can't be excited about them? And then when the exciting things are over, I miss them.

I think it's just because my mind feels like it's being pulled in every direction. I fall asleep wishing things were.... different? Then, lately, I've been waking up thinking about work AND in between those thoughts, I've had some lame pop song stuck in my head on repeat. Then, during the day, I rocket around between being mildly depressed, tired, happy, excited, and on auto-pilot. Every, single, day.

And through all that, my favorite season is passing me by.

I think there is just too much going on right now, and I'm struggling a little bit with life balance between work, love, friends, plans, health, and rest.

So, here's the plan. Since there is no way I can just hit the reset button (vacation, time away), here are the things I'm going to try this week to help me get over the hump:

1. Working Out: I need the endorphins. Oh, and I started a new gym membership and if anything, I want to go just to NOT be wasteful.
2. Apple Orchard: Thursday after work. I think by now the season for apples is almost over, but I'll take the experience, even if we don't walk away with much.
3. Clean House: I haven't cleaned anything since we started packing, but I think MORE packing and cleaning will help me feel accomplished and like part of my life is in order.
4. Meditative Thoughts: This is going to sound kyptic, but I just need to remember the areas of my life that define who I am, and forget the ones that frankly, do not.
5. Outside Time: We got invited on a canoe trip this weekend and even though (again) it might be a bad time to go, I think the outside time with good friends doing something OTHER than restauranting will be really nice. I'll just make a lot of progress on No. 3 to feel better about it.

Here's to fall and getting over the hump!