Work trips are weird

Hello, friends. It's Monday again and the weather around here is summer-nice and very distracting. Work today was the perfect example of willpower.

The weekend was awesome between St. Patrick's day shenanigans, yard work (actually sort of cathartic) and a dinner business meeting at our house between Tim and his independent film associates. I got a mini-sunburn and aside from the continued chance of skin cancer, I LOVE IT. IT HURTS SO GOOD. After months of a mild winter, I'm just drinking up the vitamin D like it's my job.

I returned home Friday after spending most of the week on the East Coast. Newark, NJ was our home base and we made trips into Manhattan, Philadelphia, and Brooklyn, in that order. I learned about East Coast geography (who knew NYC and Philly were that close?) and traffic (actual toll booth dude quote after we asked why we were totally slowed to a stop: "19 lanes merging into 3. Welcome to Staten Island.") The work was good, productive and busy.

I was in such a head space, though. Work trips generally mean that while you are in proximity to local landmarks, you won't have time to experience them. Which is logical, I'm not being paid to sight see... I know, I know. But the other thing bugging me was just that...... argh, I'm young, and real cities make me feel young. While we were taking trains and walking to our meetings, my heart sank because I wasn't part of it all. I wasn't part of the excitement, yeah?

Now, I've made my choices. We all create priorities in our lives, and while I didn't choose Cedar Rapids, I DID choose my job, being near my family, and stability. Cedar Rapids just came as part of the deal. I get that.

I suppose, though, that part of my quarter-life crisis is realizing that I've run out of time (somewhat) to choose a different life. I'm on a path now. I chose it, and I'm living it. Tim and I could still uproot ourselves at some point in 10 years and start again.... but we'll be older. Even more settled into the life we chose. I'm positive we won't be unhappy..... but I think the thing that gets me is, you can't have everything. I can't choose both paths -- city/unknowns/excitement AND stability/family/early career opportunity. And I won't apologize for it.

I was just having a moment, you know?

Coming home did feel great, though. I came downstairs Saturday morning to sunshine, coffee brewing, and breeze sailing through all the open windows in the house. It was comforting. So, I think my moment has passed, at least for the time being. I'm really looking forward to a normal week.... work, working out, dinner, sleep, repeat.

Also, geeking out -- The first Hunger Games movie comes out this weekend AND the new season of MadMen starts. When you don't live in a bustling metropolis (hell, even if you do), these are the simple, mindless pleasures, people.

Is this what it's like?

I'm so whiny lately. I'm sure my husband thinks his wife turned in to a grumpy, arthritic 80-year-old overnight. I'm starting to think that some of this is just what happens when you get older.

I had a cold for what felt like a million days (whine), then decided to sort of jump back into working out (hurts, whine), now hurt my back working out (whine) and my ears never stop popping and I'm convinced I have Menieres disease (hypochondriac, whine).

Pffftttttttttt. Sigh.

I'm pretty sure it's just me projecting stress into my body. And into the house. I'm obsessive-compulsing out. Tim's being such a trooper. Crumbs on the counter (silent whine), dish cloth left in a gross, soggy pile in the bottom of the sink (passive aggressive whine to the husband), couch pillows on the floor (whine to myself), mountain of laundry that seems to regenerate itself  on the floor of the bedroom (whine at the husband). It's good that we don't have little people to care for, or I might spontaneously combust.

Commence retail therapy today. I travel east for work next week and I have to be on my A game. And if not that, at least look like I have an A game. Time to zen out, enjoy the sun and 50-degree weather. It's starting to turn spring around here and I love the changing seasons.

Little things that I enjoyed this week (anti-whine):
Sunny Friday afternoon, enjoying a TGIF beer with Tim, then dinner with my brother and his girlfriend.... and then later at night, Tim saying that he's grateful that we'll get to share simple fun like that for the rest of our lives.
Getting to see the passion and talent of my team at work. Makes all the stress worth it.
Thursday night pasta and horror movie.
Catching whiffs of my new perfume all day and feeling classy because of it, even if I feel like a mess otherwise.
(This hasn't happened yet, but I know it would go on this list) Lazy Sunday afternoon with my mom and sister.

Cheers!