Next week is the last full week before I'm off work for Christmas. I remember this time last year, I was busy trying to force the holiday season upon myself, and while there has been a degree of that this year (did you know 104.5 only has 4-5 songs holiday they play on repeat?) I've mostly been too wrapped up in other things to even notice much.
The house is decorated and gorgeous. My mom (who is way cooler than Pinterest) showed me how to make a real wreath and garland from leftover tree boughs.
My animals gave me new Jingle Pals, a new Christmas book, and a new ornament of a dog to mark our year.
I've watched a few holiday movies, done some shopping.
I saw "Meet Me in St. Louis" at the local theater.
There is no snow and barely any reason to wear a coat.
Oh, and I'm overwhelmed with keeping all our plans and family time straight. (That's a given).
My real problem is trying to force the holiday on myself. I try desperately to make new traditions and feel the way I felt growing up. I try to control things. You know the weird thing? I re-read my blog post from last year, where I whined about how things aren't the same. And then looking back, I've realized that every holiday season has been great in its own way, in ways that I couldn't predict. It just happened, no matter how worked up I was.
I'm already forming New Year's resolutions in my head related to this. I want to try in the coming year to let go, just a bit. I'm expending a lot of energy trying to get my way -- over the weather, over my work, over our plans, what I think I need to do about my appearance/health and definitely getting my way with the cleanliness of the house (who can't physically sit down when they get home until the dishes are out of the sink, counters wiped down, dining table is clean, dog toys are in the basket and stuff is off the tables by the couch??!!!). It's just bananas.
Other things I want in the next year:
I really need to lock in and get some pictures on this blog. I'm such a visual person and I live my life with images of areas and things that comfort me -- a sunny corner of the kitchen, my elephant-shaped humidifier by the bed (UN ELEPHANTE = what he is called), Tim's piles of change and books everywhere... I want to document those here.
Now that I'm on my way with grad school, I have to dig in to another interest area I miss -- singing. I've almost choked up about a million times this holiday season thinking about what I used to do this time of year. Caroling, concerts, yearly performances of Handel's "Messiah" -- the holiday season was a peak time and I miss it. I think some of my control issues stem from the fact that I'm not quite living dynamically enough. Not enough balance. Gets better every year, but this is a huge piece.
Enough pouring my heart out. It's holiday baking time this weekend! I am armed (heh heh) and ready with a ton of butter and mallow fluff. Also, Polly went under the knife today! Tim brought her upstairs this morning so I could say good-bye/good luck and my heart almost melted. Getting spayed is SO ROUTINE but I just love our little Costco-sized puppy, even if she makes me crazy.
Happy Holidays!
The house is decorated and gorgeous. My mom (who is way cooler than Pinterest) showed me how to make a real wreath and garland from leftover tree boughs.
My animals gave me new Jingle Pals, a new Christmas book, and a new ornament of a dog to mark our year.
I've watched a few holiday movies, done some shopping.
I saw "Meet Me in St. Louis" at the local theater.
There is no snow and barely any reason to wear a coat.
Oh, and I'm overwhelmed with keeping all our plans and family time straight. (That's a given).
My real problem is trying to force the holiday on myself. I try desperately to make new traditions and feel the way I felt growing up. I try to control things. You know the weird thing? I re-read my blog post from last year, where I whined about how things aren't the same. And then looking back, I've realized that every holiday season has been great in its own way, in ways that I couldn't predict. It just happened, no matter how worked up I was.
I'm already forming New Year's resolutions in my head related to this. I want to try in the coming year to let go, just a bit. I'm expending a lot of energy trying to get my way -- over the weather, over my work, over our plans, what I think I need to do about my appearance/health and definitely getting my way with the cleanliness of the house (who can't physically sit down when they get home until the dishes are out of the sink, counters wiped down, dining table is clean, dog toys are in the basket and stuff is off the tables by the couch??!!!). It's just bananas.
Other things I want in the next year:
I really need to lock in and get some pictures on this blog. I'm such a visual person and I live my life with images of areas and things that comfort me -- a sunny corner of the kitchen, my elephant-shaped humidifier by the bed (UN ELEPHANTE = what he is called), Tim's piles of change and books everywhere... I want to document those here.
Now that I'm on my way with grad school, I have to dig in to another interest area I miss -- singing. I've almost choked up about a million times this holiday season thinking about what I used to do this time of year. Caroling, concerts, yearly performances of Handel's "Messiah" -- the holiday season was a peak time and I miss it. I think some of my control issues stem from the fact that I'm not quite living dynamically enough. Not enough balance. Gets better every year, but this is a huge piece.
Enough pouring my heart out. It's holiday baking time this weekend! I am armed (heh heh) and ready with a ton of butter and mallow fluff. Also, Polly went under the knife today! Tim brought her upstairs this morning so I could say good-bye/good luck and my heart almost melted. Getting spayed is SO ROUTINE but I just love our little Costco-sized puppy, even if she makes me crazy.
Happy Holidays!
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