Can I rock this?

I think I might be at my breaking point. I've been growing my hair out for 2 years, and I might be there.
You know? When you are having bad hair day upon bad hair day. Where you are fed up with the additional conditioning, brushing, and styling... only to look only half messy.

I'm trying to decide. I once had my hair this short, and felt a little masculine. With long hair, I can at least put it up in a granny bun to keep it all out of my face. I can wear hats.

But, on the flip side again, my hair is really fine. It looks rattier than it really is, it's prone to static, and I spend WAY too much money on volumizing products.

People, I need help. What do I do? For reference (and for those who haven't seen me lately), here's a recent pic.

And here is an in-between option....

I'm putting it to a vote.

Fun facts, kids

We were supposed to close on our house today. Bummer. Nine days to go, though! I pulled an "Old School" on Tim this weekend and we shopped for bedding, lamps, and paint supplies. There was NOT time for Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Life is still craaazay and I can't believe it's November already.

To stop thinking about the house, and for the people who are maybe reading this and who AREN'T my family, here is my weirdness, enumerated.

1. I'm weirdly sensitive to loneliness: I hate seeing people eating alone, walking by themselves where there isn't sidewalk, and movies about people who are lonely or don't have their basic needs met. Pulls my heart.
2. Extra sound drives me crazy -- don't sit next to me with your iPad playing YouTube while the TV is on. Or have the TV up so loud that I can hear it in the next room. Or have an obnoxious laugh. A person can only listen to so many things at the same time.
3. I think my cat has a human soul. No joke.... he likes to make eye contact with me/others and I think it's really sweet. And creepy.
4. My favorite style right now is equestrian -- if it wasn't weird-looking, I'd probably wear the whole get up to work, including skinny pants, a turtleneck, blazer with elbow patches, knee-high boots, a helmet and riding crop. But I won't. Came close last week.....
5. I feel more beautiful in my own clothes than I did on my wedding day.
6. I rarely like watching new movies.
7. I never keep receipts.
8. I sing to myself to keep myself company.
9. If you sit me down and try to give me instructions, A-Z, I'll stop listening when you get to B and start thinking about how I'll do it instead. No disrepect, just make all instructions have one step. Then, I'll listen.
10. I wish we could take passive aggressiveness out of the feelings repertoire.
11. I think I hibernate when I sleep.... I get space heater hot.
12. I LOVE Antiques Roadshow. Last night, a woman found out her arts-and-crafts style chair was worth almost $100,000 (one of only 4 in the country) and I wanted to cry. Total bucket list aspiration to become an appraiser for Christie's.
13. My house has to SMELL comforting to me, so I apologize in advance if all the Glade/Yankee Candle/bleach smells knock you sideways when you come in the door.
14. I hum after I laugh.
15. I really AM a shy person.... just, instead of being quiet when I'm nervous, I talk even more.

This just in

I will never be a hobby-est.

I had the realization a bit ago when I was cleaning out the apartment and found a sadly stalled hobby project. (As little kids, my sisters and I got awesome dollhouses from our grandpa that we proceeded to destroy. Almost 2 years ago, ahem, I decided I would fix them. I ordered new parts and tore out the broken ones, and left them like that in our spare bedroom for the next 2 years).

Now, I'm a pretty motivated person. I like feeling accomplished and getting things done. I'm deadline-driven.

And THAT'S why I can't have hobbies.

Unless someone puts a gun to my head or tells me my liberty/happiness/relationships/paycheck are on the line, I won't knit that scarf, fix those dollhouses, play with watercolor paints, take pictures, or grow something from the dirt. Also, I consider health a hobby (more or less). The best I can do regularly is make different food choices, because eating is a survival instinct. I HAVE to do it. (So, my kitchen expiraments don't qualify as a hobby.)

I know you can "set deadlines for yourself" and "meet them" but I just "can't seem to do that."
We'll see if age improves that.... and I have a sneaking suspicion that owning a house almost qualifies as a hobby, at least in the short term. I have to stop trolling the Pottery Barn website for things that fit into my budget.....

Pop music is eating my brain

Wins all around last week, except for the orchard. But I got to the gym once, made crazy headway on the apartment, and the canoe trip Sunday was pretty fun. And also a marriage test.....

Tim was in the back of the canoe, and I was in the front. The person in the back has to make decisions: do we go to the  left or right of that rock? Do we slow down or speed up?

Right away, we came up to a huge tree downed in the middle of the river. I used my outside voice to ask Tim which way we were going and he decided, too late, that we would go left. I felt like the captain of the titanic watching us slowly NOT clear the tree. Actually, I tried to use my foot to steady us so we wouldn't flip (which luckily, we didn't, we just sailed backwards for awhile until we could communicate with each other enough to turn around). Through the rest of the trip, if I saw a curve/rock/tree/another canoe, I asked Tim what the plan was a few hundred feet in advance.

He..... didn't love that.... but otherwise wanted to make sure that I wasn't so anxious that I couldn't enjoy myself. I did anyway. (Tim, if you're reading this, #iloveyouallthetime). Protip: canoeing goes faster without food or booze.

In other news, I still have crap music in my head on repeat. Commence brain cleansing process:

1. Break out old Mac laptop or Pandora for chores around the house
2. Continue with NPR on morning commute
3. Old CDs OR classical music when commuting other times
4. New playlists for the gym (whenever I get there again)

I think that will cure me.

Last week's plan worked so well, that it helped me get through a minor setback with moving. Due to a paperwork mistake, our house closing was pushed back 9 days to Nov. 10. We re-scheduled everything we could, but will now have slightly less time to do some settling in stuff. No big deal, we'll just be living with my mom longer!

Over and out.

Whir

I feel like I am missing fall.

It's my favorite season, and the leaves here are so pretty right now. I've done a few fall cooking things, but that might be it.

It's been an Indian summer here lately (80-degree weather and sunny) and I'm sort of frustrated about it. ORR I'm frustrated about work, moving, money, and lack of vacation time, and lack of time in general.... and I'm just taking it out on fall. That might be it.

Tim and I had a great weekend visiting sister/brother-in-law/nephew, and I felt honest-to-goodness homesick when we left. I wasn't sure if it was a good time for a trip, with moving and everything, but ended up not wanting to leave.

Once again, I have mostly exciting things happening, but for whatever reason, I can't be excited about them? And then when the exciting things are over, I miss them.

I think it's just because my mind feels like it's being pulled in every direction. I fall asleep wishing things were.... different? Then, lately, I've been waking up thinking about work AND in between those thoughts, I've had some lame pop song stuck in my head on repeat. Then, during the day, I rocket around between being mildly depressed, tired, happy, excited, and on auto-pilot. Every, single, day.

And through all that, my favorite season is passing me by.

I think there is just too much going on right now, and I'm struggling a little bit with life balance between work, love, friends, plans, health, and rest.

So, here's the plan. Since there is no way I can just hit the reset button (vacation, time away), here are the things I'm going to try this week to help me get over the hump:

1. Working Out: I need the endorphins. Oh, and I started a new gym membership and if anything, I want to go just to NOT be wasteful.
2. Apple Orchard: Thursday after work. I think by now the season for apples is almost over, but I'll take the experience, even if we don't walk away with much.
3. Clean House: I haven't cleaned anything since we started packing, but I think MORE packing and cleaning will help me feel accomplished and like part of my life is in order.
4. Meditative Thoughts: This is going to sound kyptic, but I just need to remember the areas of my life that define who I am, and forget the ones that frankly, do not.
5. Outside Time: We got invited on a canoe trip this weekend and even though (again) it might be a bad time to go, I think the outside time with good friends doing something OTHER than restauranting will be really nice. I'll just make a lot of progress on No. 3 to feel better about it.

Here's to fall and getting over the hump!

Still not dead

But life has been up and down lately.

House stuff is moving right along -- we will decide on insurance soon and on Thursday, we'll walk through the house to "learn" it with the current owners. We also gave notice and the apartment complex, and started packing. We ALSO bought a ton of new furniture to fill our house this past weekend. Things are busy for sure. Next few weekends will be more packing with some plans sprinkled in here and there.

In between life? Is work. Work has been super challenging lately and I haven't had a lot of time for the house stuff to sink in. September was a pivotal month in my group, and along with big changes/revelations comes a lot of stuff that feels personal, even though it's not. It's been really hard to stay positive and jazzed up, but this funk will pass!

I'm officially out of shape again. I've jogged a few times [this month] and [it hurt]. I'm really just trying to find a way to not feel tired all the time and get myself back into the habit regularly. I'll do it! I know I will.

This month has also had me taking out stress in the kitchen. Result? Pumpkin donuts, pumpkin whoopie pies, apple crisp x2, chili, beef stew, and a failed but edible attemp at beef stroganoff. Love the cooler weather!

Until we move, though, Tim and I are going to try and eat almost solely from the pantry and freezer. Last night didn't count -- leftovers for him, salad for me. Tonight, I think things will be more creative :)

I love this season, so I'm trying not to overthink everything that will happen between now and Thanksgiving. We'll see how that goes!

I'm not dead

Just got sucked into a life whirlwind, you know the sort.

So, we finally did it, we bought a house. And it's just lovely, we couldn't be more excited about our choice AND our interest rate (because we're grownups, we can also be excited about the money part). Now, half of my brain is mentally moving furniture and living in our new house. We move in early November, and we can't wait to host some family for Thanksgiving!

We signed our house offer while we were visiting my bestie Sarah over Labor Day weekend in Saint Paul, MN. We had a great time hanging around THEIR cute new house, taking in the city, and just catching up. It felt awesome/like home to see Sarah and her husband again after a 6-month hiatus.

The weather is starting to turn, too. I just love seasons. Even the one that shall not be named. Every year when the seasons turn, I get SO EXCITED for the new one to come. I just don't know that I could ever live in a place where the weather hardly changes, even if that ONE season is weather-tastic. Snow and rain are just another reason to make soup and watch TV (or be productive at work), anyway, so why hate on them so much? (New house comes with a working woodburning fireplace, bee tee dubs. One more reason to be excited about snow).

In other news, Frank got the best of me last week. (Well, we bested each other). I was removing him from our bedroom and caught a tuft of his fur on.... something (still don't know what). Relieved of a clump of fur, Frank lashed out on me and scratched my eyelid. He didn't get my actual eye, but I went to the ER nonetheless. My eye is fine and healing well, but I had to get a tetnus shot and THAT was way worse. My arm hurt so bad on day 2 and 3 that I couldn't stand to move it or roll over on it during the night.

On the upside, I'm clear to play with rusty nails again............

This weekend was also my unofficial fall kick-off: Brucemorchestra. For the 4th year now, Orchestra Iowa played an amazing outdoor concert on the lawn at Brucemore. We all show up with lawn chairs, wine, and snacks and enjoy the music. I LOVE IT. Makes me wish I played an instrument or sang in a group again.

I also watched our interstate college football rivalry and my alma mater came out ahead, FINALLY. I really only like college football because it's something to do in the fall with friends, but it's good to see your team win, even if you never watch another game they play in the season, haha.

So, to recap our life lately:

Tim and Kate vs. navigating home buying = we won
Kate vs. Frank freak out = Frank won
Kate and Tim vs. changing seasons and fall plans = everyone wins