Cat's Out of the Bag

For those of you who are friends with Tim on FB and saw his album, we are nearing the finish line on an amazing vacation -- what Tim called a "Babymoon."

Yep.

I was a little hesitant to see Tim put that out there at first, but then again -- it's the truth, and it's getting weird avoiding all references on social media. So, it's out there! We are having a baby in November! I've been craving lemonade/lemon foods and I've been feeling great.

We have been telling friends, family -- work -- along the way, but have refrained from big announcements. Why the silence after I poured my heart out this winter about our struggles with infertility? For two reasons, I guess...

1. After getting bad news for a long time, you never really get over the feeling that the bottom is going to drop out. (Google is not my friend.) I know so many people who know exactly what I'm talking about. Even though we have had a really smooth/healthy pregnancy so far..... it's just hard to let it be "real." I've had to work hard to just be grateful for every day of this blessing, even if the worst thing could still happen. I Also, I remember how much it stung to see announcements when we were in the thick of it, and didn't want to add to another person's private struggle.

2. I struggle with my personal feelings about big 'ol facebook announcements. But you have a blog! You say. But you have shared super personal things here! Yeah..... I have. It's weird. I feel compelled to put things out there in the social webs... then at the same time, I have a dislike for huge staged social announcements, social TMI and a culture shift toward a "posted" life. The struggle is real, my friends. It'll only get worse when we have a cute new baby (son!) and I'll want to make it rain with updates and photos of him.... only to fret about the unknown dangers of putting his little life out into the interwebs on display. I know. I KNOW.

So, there you have it. This vacation has been like a chapter turning. It's allowed me the mental space to actually feel OK putting these thoughts out there, and process this transition a bit more. It's marked a physical transition where strangers are making comments and where Tim can actually feel our baby kick, too.

And oh, the books. I feel like I'm cramming for the biggest test of my life. All you current parents out there can have a laugh at my expense, but reading books on babies helps me feel like I'll have a tiny bit of control over our lives after we bring an infant home :)

We head back to Iowa tomorrow, back to our lives. We will stay insanely busy with work and family and friends in July, and when you mix extra appointments in there at the doctor and with potential childcare providers (heaven help us), time is going to fly.

But we just feel so lucky. Every day. We are lucky to be where we are, and with so.... so many supportive people. Thank you for being among them!

I suppose that's as good a place as any to close this up. Until next time, over and out.

Thank You

I still can't believe I actually published that last post.

But I'm truly glad that I did.

We are so blessed to have the friends and family that we do, and aside from feeling the incredibly powerful weight of your support, you all actually helped me to refocus this season on what really matters in life.... that is, you have everything if you have love!

I tend to start every new year with a silly, out-of-no-where burst of optimism, and I'm totally feeling it this year, even though I have a ton ahead of me personally and professionally that should make me really anxious. But I'm not. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have my moments. But I mostly feel peaceful right now. If that's not divine intervention, I'm not sure what is.... I'm an Olympic worryer. It takes more than a few days off work and a calendar change to make me stop fretting.

So, what's next on the baby front? Tim and I are moving forward with some plans that I have told people about in person, but will decide NOT to talk about more than is necessary for awhile. Basically -- our interventions will either work, or not work! Our loved ones will find out either way, and we'll need time to celebrate OR grieve and then decide what is next.

That's an overly simplistic decision tree, I know.

In the meantime, this spring is a HUGE one for me on more than one front. I think (?) I started this blog right around the same time that I started grad school. Many years, many readings and assignments, and MANY thousands of dollars later.... I'll graduate in May with my MBA. I'm in a condensed winter class now, am taking two electives this spring semester and will cap things off with another condensed class in May. Even though it'll be a really busy time, it feels great to be nearly done.

This year also marks the 10-year anniversary of graduating from Iowa State with my undergrad. When did THAT happen.

We had a good Christmas and New Year's -- did you? I totally re-set my operating system -- I got good face time with friends, we went out and stayed in, and I officially got back in the kitchen. (Through the fall and before the holiday I wasn't cooking much... just didn't feel like it.) I'm back at it now and it feels great to experiment/eat my experiments. (YOU GUYS I MADE FOCCACIA BREAD. AND IT WAS AWESOME.)

I've written before about how I love winter, and I'm still loving it now even after the twinkle lights eventually come down. (In case you're wondering, our Christmas tree has taken up its new spot in the yard until Mas Fuego. #livingtheAmericandream) But seriously, I love how the snow and the cold and the quiet and the dark make us slow down.

Instead of promising myself that I'll save a million dollars or get mega-fit this year for my New Year's resolutions, I want to work on myself in a meditative sense -- live in the moment, work on my relationships and be generous in every way. I'm not sure that resolution + my rekindled love for cooking = fitting into pants. But whatever.

A person's gotta do what they can.

And there's always stretchier pants.