It's time

It's time to take the Christmas tree down, and it's a sad day.

The holidays are nearly over, soon I'll be back to the grind of life, and it will be another year before we get the opportunity to gather our favorite people together for endless parties and days off together.

It's hard. As you can clearly see, our tree is ready to rejoin the earth, first in the corner of the yard, then when we burn it at Easter for the second annual "Mas Fuego" gathering (more on that later).

As a neat freak, I'm really bothered by all the needles in my house right now, but cleaning this time means putting an end to the holiday cheer and hunkering down for the rest of winter.

See the cheer?

But, it's time. A new year is upon us, and we are actually still firming our plans to ring it in. In the meantime, here's what's on my mind as I plan to welcome 2013:

What are we doing tonight? Also, we totally forgot that we have this little cutie to take care of tonight:

Since the holidays are over, I need to decide what Tim and I should do for our anniversary/something-to-celebrate-after-Christmas plans and make a reservation (this is the place I have my eye on :) I knooooowwww....)

After a year and a few months in our house, we finally blew a fuse or two and now the kitchen light and outlets near the TV don't work. TV AND KITCHEN ARE MY FAVORITES -- must fix soon.

Like a true glutton, I feel like crap after days of all-I-can-eat-and-drink-and-no-gym. Bought a book about cleansing and am planning a juice cleanse soon. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll have lots to say about the experience :) As you know, Tim and I really love extreme diet and exercise plans this time of year that we forget within a month or two.

Last, but not least, I head back to work Wednesday and am spending some time today combing through emails and trying to remember what exactly I was working on before break. My first day back at work is going to be the mental equivalent of a juice cleanse. Awwweeeesome.

That's enough for now. I hope you all had wonderful holidays, and are planning to celebrate the end of 2012 tonight. Cheers!

Make the rough places plain

Next week is the last full week before I'm off work for Christmas. I remember this time last year, I was busy trying to force the holiday season upon myself, and while there has been a degree of that this year (did you know 104.5 only has 4-5 songs holiday they play on repeat?) I've mostly been too wrapped up in other things to even notice much.

The house is decorated and gorgeous. My mom (who is way cooler than Pinterest) showed me how to make a real wreath and garland from leftover tree boughs.
My animals gave me new  Jingle Pals, a new Christmas book, and a new ornament of a dog to mark our year.
I've watched a few holiday movies, done some shopping.
I saw "Meet Me in St. Louis" at the local theater.
There is no snow and barely any reason to wear a coat.
Oh, and I'm overwhelmed with keeping all our plans and family time straight. (That's a given).

My real problem is trying to force the holiday on myself. I try desperately to make new traditions and feel the way I felt growing up. I try to control things. You know the weird thing? I re-read my blog post from last year, where I whined about how things aren't the same. And then looking back, I've realized that every holiday season has been great in its own way, in ways that I couldn't predict. It just happened, no matter how worked up I was.

I'm already forming New Year's resolutions in my head related to this. I want to try in the coming year to let go, just a bit. I'm expending a lot of energy trying to get my way -- over the weather, over my work, over our plans, what I think I need to do about my appearance/health and definitely getting my way with the cleanliness of the house (who can't physically sit down when they get home until the dishes are out of the sink, counters wiped down, dining table is clean, dog toys are in the basket and stuff is off the tables by the couch??!!!). It's just bananas.

Other things I want in the next year:

I really need to lock in and get some pictures on this blog. I'm such a visual person and I live my life with images of areas and things that comfort me -- a sunny corner of the kitchen, my elephant-shaped humidifier by the bed (UN ELEPHANTE = what he is called), Tim's piles of change and books everywhere... I want to document those here.

Now that I'm on my way with grad school, I have to dig in to another interest area I  miss -- singing. I've almost choked up about a million times this holiday season thinking about what I used to  do this time of year. Caroling, concerts, yearly performances of Handel's "Messiah" -- the holiday season was a peak time and I miss it. I think some of my control issues stem from the fact that I'm not quite living dynamically enough. Not enough balance. Gets better every year, but this is a huge piece.

Enough pouring my heart out. It's holiday baking time this weekend! I am armed (heh heh) and ready with a ton of butter and mallow fluff. Also, Polly went under the knife today! Tim brought her upstairs this morning so I could say good-bye/good luck and my heart almost melted. Getting spayed is SO ROUTINE but I just love our little Costco-sized puppy, even if she makes me crazy.

Happy Holidays!